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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Hamilton chosen as sexiest treasurer ever

Status Gives Hamilton Edge on James A. Baker, John W. Snow

Alain Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale


An independant, bipartisan, lesbian and transexual (IBLT) committee voted unanimously Wednesday afternoon to give Alexander Hamilton the status of Sexiest Treasurer Ever. The news comes just hours after the introduction of the new ten dollar note design, featuring the potrait of the handsome, well endowed statesman.

After years of controversy surrounding the status of the most sexy Secretary of the Treasury, today's vote spells defeat for top contenders such as James A. Baker III, and the current treasurer, John W. Snow.

"We've been victimized since the start," explained Baker late Wednesday afternoon at a press conference. "The liberals have all the power and it's been a priority of theirs to ensure that this man become the most sexy of us all. It's all a Federalist conspiracy!"

It is unknown what positions Hamilton, a Federalist, took on such liberal issues as environmentalism, social policy, education and health care. So-called liberals have denied being part of a larger Federalist political agenda.

Critics of Hamilton's sex symbol status have pointed to older portraits, dating from the period, showing an older, decidedly unsexier functionnary, disgruntled by the late eighteenth century Washington establishment.


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