Hurricane Wilma, Katrina blamed on Cuba

Washington accuses communist state of using weather of mass destruction

Alain Terrieur
La Lune de la Presse internationale

WASHINGTON, D.C.

The Bush Administration accused Cuba on Thursday of causing the devastation from Hurricane Katrina by using secret technology to increase the hurricanes' speed and affect its path.

This new "environmental terrorism" is the result of ecotechnology used in weapons manufactured in Havana. "We know where these weapons are," said Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld on Wednesday. "They're in Havana and the areas surrounding it."

These new, possibly damning charges come with new intelligence from CIA and FBI sources, citing Havana as a hothouse of weather of mass destruction (WMD) technology research and development. Showing recent sattelite photos in front of the UN Thursday afternoon, American ambassador John Bolton showed how Cuba used its WMD. He argued Cuba veered the storms using such Cuban technological breakthroughs as ballistic barrometric artillery and deep sea thermo-generators, causing them to target American coasts and the vital oil and tourism infrastructure there.

Moreover, Cuba has been hiding this technology from UN inspectors for years. Bolton called for a UN resolution, with the goal of later ignoring its obsolescence, condemning Cuban ecoterrorism and demanding military intervention.

It was too early to ascertain the reaction of the Bush administration, which is dealing with other scandals. White House Spokesman Scott McLellan brushed aside criticism about hurricane response, blaming the Cubans for environmental terrorism. He also pointed out the success of the recent referendum in Iraq, in which Iraqis chose their new state quarter design. There were widespread accusations of fraud due to the 99% yes vote in certain provinces. A White House investigation lasted several days and found no discrepancies.

Suspected motives for the communist country to attack the US with WMD include sabotaging the US tourist industry to promote more "sexual tourism" within Cuba. The Bush Administration has long accused citizens of Cuba of regularly having sex.

Bush has yet to say how he will respond to the shocking new intelligence showing WMD in Cuba. Possible options include everything from destroying the country entirely with nuclear weapons to destroying the country entirely with conventional weapons. The Pentagon has also suggested expanding the Guantanamo Bay prison to accomodate the Cuban population. They would then be slowly directed to special "camps" where highly trained guards would teach them to appreciate and accept American values such as freedom and democracy.