Architect promises to stop abusing drugs

ALEX TERRIEUR
La Lune de la presse internationale

PRAGUE, CZECH REPUBLIC

World-renowned Czech architect Vladil Holdum declared publicly Friday that he would stop abusing illegal substances "as soon as possible." His problem became known after the design of his last structure raised eyebrows and landed Holdum in the hospital from several simultaneous overdoses.

His creative conception was put to the drawing board after an hours-long, substance-crazed snort-fest during which Holdum repeatedly calculated mass-to-weight ratios and frantically scribbled design details in his office.

While criticism of Holdum's problem has been relatively mild, certain Citizens' Action associations have claimed that such odd building designs could encourage "non-linear" thought processes, "un-geometric" reasoning and even "abject creativity," thereby leading more people to abuse substances.

"Buildings just shouldn't look like that," said Betsy Duzrails, a member of Concerned Actions for Conservative Architecture (CACA). "He can take all the drugs he wants, he just doesn't have to push his habits on others."

The building design was ultimately found to be structurally sound. Investors and banking officials approved financing for the project, provided mainly by funneling illegal drug money that had been laundered through Swiss banks.