Disney to sponsor next terrorist attack on America

Alain Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale

WASHINGTON, D.C.

The Walt Disney Corporation in conjuction with ABC Broadcasting announced Wednesday that it would be the proud sponsor of the next terror attack on the USA. After releasing a docu-drama this week on the 9-11 attacks which purposely distorted facts and testimony to Congress, the corporation decided that it would also be in its interest to promote future terrorism so as to pre-empt any factual reporting that would be done in its wake.

"We felt that since we got to re-write the history of 9-11 in order to blame the Clinton Administration, we may as well go ahead and ensure the next attacks so we could blame future Democrats or liberals, or anyone else we disagree with," said Disney Executive Producer Lou Zurr. He also dismissed allegations of partisan unfairness, illegality or immoral behavior as simply "aiding and abetting the future terrorists."

Another Disney executive said on condition of anonimity that Disney was thrilled with the prospect of monopolizing forthcoming documentaries of the next spectacular attacks on innocent Americans, hoping to make "tens of millions" while inserting whatever details they felt appropriate into the debate and omitting anything that might make certain government officials appear incompetent, complicit or perhaps even actively promoting terrorism on their own citizens. "That is simply out of the question," he stated. "We have a large enough revenue at this point to rewrite history as we see fit."

Disney, in choosing to sponsor future terrorist attacks on Americans, also opted to promote new education techniques on America's school children. Promotional docu-dramas will be distributed to schools and, in a special deal with Republican lawmakers, teachers who refuse to show the videos will be arrested and detained under the USA Patriot Act and new, more radical legislation which is still pending, awaiting the future attacks. "We can't allow the terrorists or our political opponents to control our media and allow our children to think freely whatever they want," said Disney Executive Amanda Skape-Gowte.

It is still unclear how much Disney will invest in sponsoring a future 9-11 on the US, but it is expected to take the form of a chemical, biological or nuclear attack of some kind. As soon as the attack happens, Disney officials say, they will have a docu-drama prepared and aired on major networks within days. The program will designate who is responsible for the attacks and which countries America should invade and/or destroy as a result. Americans who disagree may also be asked to go to special re-education clinics where they can be properly informed of how to think about future developments and reshape their opinions to conform with that of Disney Corporation.