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Sunday, December 31, 2006

Bush calls for reinstatement of draught

New Initiative Seeks to Unite Americans for War Effort

Alex Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale


On the eve of the new year, President Bush called for the reinstatement of the selective draught across the country. With deep divisions in America creating tensions between pro- and anti-Constitutional factions, the reinstatement of the draught is intended to unite Americans in an inebriated patriotic fervor.

After Bush's announcement during his weekly Sunday radio address, new Selective Draught Service committees were set to take action in cities and towns across the nation. College towns would be especially targeted, said one unidentified Draught Board member.

In an exclusive La Rochelle Times interview, Selective Draught Service chairman Brigham Bakholme explained the development of draught steering committes, such as the Board for the Evolution of Everyday Responsibilities (BEER) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, an area already heavily affected in the past by the draught. The Board intends to appeal to citizens' common goals for a unified society, by bringing the draught to their doorsteps. By organizing weekly Friday and Saturday night committee meetings, concerning how to best fulfill draught responsibilities, BEER hopes to provide a new sense of meaning for citizens worried about their country's direction.

Through new initiatives, such as BEER, Bush hopes to reinvigorate enthousiasm for the global War on Terror. With enough draught momentum, explained Bush, the country will be able to provide hundreds of thousands more troops for the ongoing fight against radical Islamic extremists in Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, Cuba and Mexico. Moreover, some analyists estimate that BEER and its affiliates may be so effective, they will eliminate a lot of the reasoned opposition to the conflict by uniting everyone under a common cause. Bush has also shown his support for the draught by participating in BEER-like gatherings as part of the build-up to the larger draught movement.

The reinstatement of the draught is expected to make its way into American life throughout 2007, with examples such as BEER becoming much more commonplace. The selective draught/BEER initiative has the full support of Congress, the Supreme Court, the Red-State Political Action Committee, the NASCAR Association, the NFL, Major League Baseball, as well as countless College Campus recreational establishments. It is also expected to garner widespread support in rural and urban communities.


  • At 5/2/07 3:46 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Brigham Bakholme! Brigham Bakholme! Brigham Bakholme! Brigham Bakholme!


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