Historians urged to ignore recent past

Society suggests "toning it down a notch"

Alain Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale

MADISON, WISCONSIN

The Society for the Heritage of Interational Traditional Scholars (SHITS) called on all American historians to ignore recent events on Monday, in order to preserve a more "circumspect and unifying view in writing about factual actuality." A press release from SHITS explained the move was intended to avoid "red-state, blue-state divides" while bringing about a bipartisan approach.

"We think historians who tackle difficult recent subjects, such as the end of the Cold War and the resulting power vacuum that caused terrorism, should use caution in their approach," said Greg Garius, a noted historian for SHITS. "Too much careful analysis could lead to theories which point fingers, and we are trying to reduce blame by promoting more of an 'incompetence' viewpoint."

Indeed, the recent emergence of new radical political technologies, such as the Internet, have fueled leaks and conspiracy theories in many countries. In the coming decades, historians will be troubled to sort through lengthy digital archives and weblogs, trying to discern truth from fiction. Some SHITS activists have been pushing for historians to discount "widespread disinformation" that can be found in "anti-democratic spheres," such as the Internet.

Garius co-authored a SHITS article due to appear in the February edition of The American Heritage Periodical Foundation Society for American Heritage Quarterly. In it he urges noted historians to give obfuscation the benefit of the doubt, and not to dig too deeply into supporting facts or details to develop more strengthened, tenable analyses. By simply "toning it down a notch," historians will be able to produce meaningless volumes of twisting sentences, with many interjected clauses, for years to come.