Antarctica legalizes gay penguin marriage

Alain Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale

ROSS SEA, ANTARCTICA

Antarctica broke international ice today by announcing that it had legalized gay penguin marriage, after years of heated debate on the subject. Homosexual flightless birds around the world rejoiced at the news, while surely hoping other nations would give the status to their species as well. In a bold act of political courage, Antarctica's Spheniscidae Council overwhelmingly approved the measure by a 7-2 majority.

The two dissenters are holdovers from an older generation of the declining Aptenodytes patagonicus species. Otherwise known as "king penguins," members of this species have been notorious for their traditional patriarchal social models. It comes as no suprise, therefore, that their two delegates to the Spheniscidae Council opposed the gay marriage resolution.

The new rules affect gay penguin couples who for years have struggled to obtain egg-nesting rights equal to those of heterosexual "breeding" couples. Moreover, prime mating and nesting territory has been preferentially given to opposite-sex groups, while homosexual couples have been forced to use less favorable and often rugged terrain. The measure also affects underwater hunting pecking orders, which are critical when nesting to ensure proper nutrition of the young.

Antarctica became the first such country to legalize gay penguin marriage, although some breakaway groups in captivity, such as those who are currently being detained at the Central Park Zoo facility in New York, have been promoting awareness of the issue since 2004.