La Lune de la presse internationale
After an apparently fair trial, Circuit Court Judge Jay L. Selle sentenced Obama for "the horrid and lewd acts" that occurred between the disgraced Senator and his unnamed victims. Cable news networks were expected to be abuzz with the titillating, juicy details of his sexual escapades.
Some have suggested Obama's recent posturing for the 2008 Presidential race has simply been cover for the shameful charges that were brought against him. If the conviction is not overturned upon appeal, the Senator will have to begin serving time in a federal detention facility along with his ephebophile Republican counterparts. Disgraced Representative Randy "Duke" Cunningham commented that "it is our ironic destiny to forge a strong spirit of bi-partisanship during our incarceration in federal prison."
Many voters remained ambivalent after the news, stating that the charges simply reflected a pattern in Washington circles, well established since the Reagan administration, and exacerbated by the recent Foley scandals.
"Every administration has some sort of sexual scandal, it just is a matter of what their personal preferences are. Jeff Gannon, Monica Lewinsky, the Vienna Boys' Choir, eventually it all gets made public and these guys get tried in the media whether they're guilty or not," said local voter Tess Timowny.
The conviction for molestation is expected to put a damper on Obama's bid for the Democratic nomination in the 2008 Presidential race. Historically speaking, candidates convicted of molestation have not generally won favor in political circles, unless they have been part of a larger, underground group of secret investors in the oil and arms industries. The La Rochelle Times will continue to follow this story as it is analyzed by experts from the 24-hour news networks.