Bush calls for surge in 'Support Our Troops' bumper stickers
La Lune de la presse internationale
The President brushed aside criticism yesterday, in what officially kicked off his sixth year of brushing aside criticism. With a new Democratic majority in Congress, the surge in bumper stickers is expected to draw wide bi-partisan support and unify citizens as American stormtroopers push ever closer to victory in Iraq. "I know some people have criticated my policies, but they just don't see it my way," said the President. "What we need is unity, and my bumper sticker initiative is part of that. If Americans had just been more open to bumper stickering before, we wouldn't be in this situation. But in my gut, I know that 30,000 more freedom stickers will bring victory in Iraq."
Democratic Party Leaders expressed enthousiasm for the President's overture by muting their criticism of the Iraq War and underlining support for Americans' outward displays of sympathy for the sorrows of empire.
"We think the President's plan for a surge of 30,000 or more bumper stickers is a good overture at the outset of this new year," said Senator Phil Abusder (D-MI). "We hope the President will also be more open to respecting the Constitution, following the law, and so forth, but these trivial political gestures are helpful in giving people the impression that our Republic is still legitimate."
Some sources close to the President have told the La Rochelle Times that the Bumper Sticker Initiative, known in White House circles as the 'BS Initiative,' is part of a larger effort to guilt Congress into laying out an additional $250 billion for the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Most of that money would be funneled into undisclosed, no-bid contracts to corporations owned by Executive Branch officials, Bush family members and Saudi royals. The White House maintains that it is essential to winning the continuing global War on Terror.
In the coming weeks, the Democrats will choose whether or not to stand fully behind the BS initiative, or to try to forge a different path with the American public. Given the overwhelming popularity of political bumper stickers, the President's announcement thwarts a key Democratic opportunity to exploit popular public sentiment at a time of change in Washington.