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Thursday, January 4, 2007

Republican can't keep straight face while taking oath of office

Congresswoman 'just can't believe' she has to say these things 'again'

Alex Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale


Five-term Congresswoman Amanda Tori Sentenz (R-FL) couldn't keep a straight face while taking her Oath of Office on Thursday, inside sources report. The narrowly re-elected Representative won 50.2% of the vote in Florida's Ninth District, amidst a tough campaign in what some analysts called a dirty battle for survival. Her Democratic challenger, Jerry Manderer, had to wage war against a campaign machine that attacked his Congressional record on spending, tax increases and Medicare, despite the fact that he had never before held office. The dirty campaign worked, however, as Manderer eventually lost the election. Sentenz then accused him of cheating on his wife with his 14 year old nephew during her victory acceptance speech.

On Thursday, Sentenz appeared in Washington to be sworn into office. Disenfranchised by Democratic gains, Rep. Sentenz brushed off criticism by her colleagues that she was "corrupt to the bone," "in the thick of scandal," and "mischeviously promiscuous." She opted to take her mandatory oath of office in private quarters, instead of with the general House Assembly as is customary.

Upon taking her oath, Rep. Sentenz repeatedly burst into laughter, and tried hard to contain her loud guffaws in front of the witnesses present. She later commented that she "just can't believe" Representatives have to go through the inconvenience of "saying again and again" such trivial "mumbo-jumbo" before they "get down to business."

"I, Amanda Tori Sentenz, do solemnly swear ... wait, wait, stop. I can't ...," reporters quoted the giggling Congresswoman as saying. "Let's try that again. Okay, so I swear, to, like, uphold the Consti ... ti ... ah ha ha ha! I can't do it! Okay, just like let me try it one more time."

It took Sentenz fourteen attempts during a fifteen minute period, where she was told to sit down, given water, and attended to by concerned lobbyists on the sidelides until she calmed down. Eventually she made it through the oath without interruption or an inordinate amount of snickering. She has also recently proposed amending Congressional rules so that oathes become optional for Republicans, particularly if they have been under investigation for unethical behavior.


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