Check delays agonizing purchase of awkward items

BREAKING NEWS!

Alain Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale

WAUTOMA, WISCONSIN

A routine purchase at a local Target outlet store was agonizingly delayed by the use of a check, sources in Wautoma reported late Monday. An impressive array of embarrassing items such as tampons, lubricant and condoms were kept in full view of customers and employees for several minutes while the check was filled out, run through a scanning device and finally accepted by the cashier after repeated attempts to clear the purchase. The assistant manager also had to be called in, delaying the transaction for an additional five minutes.

Local resident Tim Idde was flustered after the incident, declining extensive comment in order to rush hurriedly out of the store to his car. "I bought the tampons for my girlfriend. She's out," said Idde before turning his eyes to the floor and walking quickly to the exit.

A La Rochelle Times FactFinders™ investigative team uncovered some of the more elusive details in the minutes following the incident. According to sources who witnessed the purchase, Idde allegedly had no cash or credit cards, and was forced to use a check as a last resort. The cashier, Juana Visa, is apparently a recently hired employee who only has handled a total of ten check purchases. Therefore, her efficiency in running the transaction was limited, leading to the increased embarrassment of the customer, which was further exacerbated by the indiscrete looks and unpleasant commentary of other shoppers.

Target executives were not available for immediate comment, although it is known at this time that customer surveys have indicated a desire for a "discrete" checkout line that would provide enhanced privacy when customers are forced to publicly display personal items needed for intimate activites.