Cheney visits Asia to shop for new heart

Alex Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale

SINGAPORE

Vice President Dick Cheney stopped off in Singapore on Sunday to briefly peruse local human organ marketplaces for a new heart, sources reported to the La Rochelle Times. Due to his continuing cardiac problems, Cheney is apparently in the market for a younger organ that he will select from a pool of potential vendors including mental patients, prisoners or street children.

It was unknown initially how long Cheney would stay before selecting a donor and moving on to Pakistan for urgent talks. Recent reports of an Al-Qaeda resurgence in northern Pakistan apparently prompted the Vice President to make a surprise unofficial visit to the country, most certainly to secure last minute preparations. Cheney is expected back in Washington in time for the verdict in the Scooter Libby trial, in which the former White House official faces the death penalty if convicted.