France releases arrogant report on 'global warming'

Alain Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale

PARIS, FRANCE

France flouted its nose at the world Tuesday by releasing a conceited, egotistictal and decidedly arrogant report outlining the latest data on planetary climate change. French Environmental Minister Destin Toulouse flippantly announced the release of the report in Paris during a press conference, before brazenly turning his back on reporters and breaking wind in their general direction while walking out of the room.

"We offer this report for everyone else in the world who has not yet caught up to our level of science and research," Toulouse said during the announcement which was later translated by foreign media services. "Obviously once again the French have outpaced every other country in detailing the many aspects of climate change."

The report included mundane details about the inevitable collapse of eco-systems, mass extinctions of species and catastrophic sea-level rise. Journalists quickly disregarded the dire implications of the predictions, however, after the vain and pretentious nature of the announcement.