THE LA ROCHELLE TIMES

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Friday, March 16, 2007

China vows to put a factory on Mars by 2012

Red planet to be industrialized by Communist reds

Alex Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale

JIUGUAN, CHINA

The People's Republic of China announced plans Friday to build an off-global factory on Mars before 2012 with the financial backing of major Western corporations, sources reported exclusively to the La Rochelle Times. Citing the advantages of limited pollution regulations, absence of land ownership and vast untapped resources, Peking announced its plans to construct a Mars-based production center that would be able to produce units cheaply for export to Earth. The previously prohibitve costs of interplanetary transport will soon be resolved by increasingly advanced Chinese aero-spatial vehicles that utilize the latest in ramjet and nuclear-hyperdrive propulsion, designed by recent Chinese graduates of top American institutions.

Corporations such as Nike, Wal-Mart and Halliburton have promised billions to support the missions, that will ostensibly begin as soon as September. Once the factory is completed, these companies would retain exclusive production rights on impored Martian products sold on Earth, as well as the future exploitation of all Martian resources under the direction of the Chinese government.

Initially, probes and payload vehicles will be launched in order to establish primary colonies on the planet, which will be only the second in the solar system to have products with the Made In China label. In the coming years, teams of workers and settlers will follow in order to begin construction of new factories. It is hoped that carbon dioxide pollution produced at the new factories will contribute to a greenhouse effect and the development of a Martian atmosphere as an added benefit.

The expensive colonization and industrialization project will be financed primarily by the growing American trade deficit with Peking, which expects to repossess most of the American space program within the next several years. By combining the latest Chinese production methods with existing repossessed American technology, Peking maintains it intends to establish a permanent Communist presence on the red planet within six years, "passing the benefits on to consumers with cheaper production costs," Chinese officials said.


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