Tony Blair to die in car accident next week

Blair government expected to end with tragic mishap

Luc Attmi
La Lune de la presse internationale

LONDON, UK

British Prime Minister Tony Blair will be fatally injured sometime next week when the vehicle from his official government motorcade veers into a large concete bridge pillar, the BBC reported to the La Rochelle Times London Bureau. The accident is expected to mark a tragic yet convenient end to Blair's ten years at the head of the British parliament, paving the way for a smooth transition of power and forever ending many of the uninteresting scandals which are currently plaguing his political party, including charges of bribery, money laundering, intelligence manipulation and war crimes.

The BBC, widely respected and highly reputed for its precocious news bulletins, has announced it will start reporting from the scene of the future accident starting next Monday. "We want everyone in Britain to know that the BBC is doing its best to report on this upcoming national tragedy, so that the best possible light can be shown on Blair's time as our Prime Minister," the BBC said in a statement today. "We'd also like to stress that this will be a completely fortuitous accidental event."

The exact conditions surrounding the accident that will end the Prime Minister's life are not yet entirely known, although the mishap is expected to result from loss of control of the vehicle after it speeds through London streets, attempting to avoid inquisitive reporters and investigators who are working diligently to expose wrongdoing by the Blair government. Companies who have thus far given financial support to Blair, such as British Petrolium, have recently expressed their sincerest condolences for the upcoming tragedy.