"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him understand the idea of subatomic particles that make up the basic building blocks of quantum mechanics underlying the innate vibrational nature of matter itself."

Friday, September 7, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith bored with afterlife


'This is totally lame,' declares dead supermodel during ouiji session with reporters

Alex Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale


Deceased supermodel Anna Nicole Smith made headlines again Friday as she announced from her temporary position in Purgatory that she was "completely bored" with the afterlife and that her experience after death was "totally lame." Since dying unexpectedly on February 8, 2007, the former celebrity has become disappointed with her experiences after passing on from her earthly life.

"This really sucks cause I can't get any prescriptions here," Smith told reporters telepathically early Friday morning.

Through a prolonged ouiji session with reporters Smith was able to communicate her complete and total dissatisfaction with "this stupid out of body experience." The former supermodel explained that she was happier on Earth under the influence of a cocktail of prescription medications that made her feel like she was "walking on clouds in heaven," and that her prolonged wait in Purgatory has been a sobering detoxification period in her eternal afterlife.

"I'm like SO bored here," Smith continued. "I mean, it's sort of cool to have complete wisdom and understanding of the universe with the possibility of infinite extradimensional existence, but, like, whatever, it's not the same as being on all the news networks and having my own personal pharmacy."


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