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Friday, February 12, 2010

Medicine: New cure for apathy generates little public interest

Grinan Barrett
La Lune de la presse internationale


Researchers and medical professionals gathered early Saturday morning at the University of Wisconsin to announce a newly discovered cure for common apathy, but the overall public reaction was generally one of quiet indifference, sources tell the La Rochelle Times. The condition is known as Human Apathetic Disorder and is found in about 82% of the adult population. It has often been confused with Pathetic Syndrome, also known as Brit Hume's Disease, which affects far fewer people.

The treatment regime, researchers announced yesterday, consists of a combination of pharmaceutical drugs and intellectual stimulation.

"We found that by introducing people to cannabinoid-receptor derivatives and engaging them in new neural processes we could eliminate apathy almost to negligible levels. Certain types of alcohol also gave us the desired effect of reduced apathy, however the feedback was generally negative when this catalyst was used. Also the hangovers were killer," said Claire Voiant, head scientist at the Researchers' Institute for the Study of Endemic Underlying Problems (RISEUP), who conducted the study.

Despite the breakthrough cure and subsequent announcement by researchers, people have thus far remained largely uninterested in the findings.

"I was sort of intrigued by these findings, but I guess I just really don't care that much," said onlooker Justin D. Bachgrund. "I mean, for a few seconds I was like, 'woah,' but then I got a call on my i-phone, and after that I pretty much forgot everything that happened before."

Scientists have often stated that apathy is a risk to the general adult population, and now the cure can be found with RISEUP. It remains to be seen, however, if the general public will pay any attention.


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