Point-Counterpoint: Pets

Feline advocate: Cats are the best companions

You already know that cats are the best friends man can have. I don't have to remind you, but just in case you had forgotten I've just reminded you again. Now that you understand that, feel free to reflect on it. In the meantime, I will continue to feel superior to everyone and everything around you.

Let's take a moment to observe the surroundings while checking for any sign of movement. If anything moves, go find out what it is and if it keeps moving, kill it immediately. While it's dying make sure you take full advantage of its suffering and pain by tearing through its flesh several times with your teeth, then take your hand and swat it a couple times to make sure it's dead. Feel free to repeat this anytime you are hungry, bored, or angry.


Canine enthusiast: Dogs are the best companions

You are awesome! I love you so much! Wow! I'm just so excited that you're reading this! Is there anything else I can do to get your attention? Can I knock something over for you? Can I eat something? Maybe make some loud noises indicating some sort of danger approaching? Hey! Keep looking at me! I'm right here! Do you want me to go over there? Can I go get that thing and bring it back to you? Have I mentioned how much I love you? I'm so excited! Wow! All of the sudden I'm feeling sort of tired. Can we continue this later? I need a nap.

Whew, I sure needed that. Hey, you know what? You are awesome! I love you so much! Wow! I'm just so excited that you're reading this! Is there anything else I can do to get your attention? Can I knock something over for you? Can I eat something? Maybe make some loud noises indicating some sort of danger approaching? Hey! Keep looking at me! I'm right here! Do you want me to go over there? Can I go get that thing and bring it back to you? Have I mentioned how much I love you? I'm so excited! Wow! All of the sudden I'm feeling sort of tired. Can we continue this later? I need a nap.