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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Merkel-Sarkozy sex tape surfaces

Future of Eurozone at risk after leak of raunchy footage

Grinan Barrett
La Lune de la presse internationale


Markets trembled Tuesday after footage surfaced showing German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Nicolas Sarkozy engaged in lewd acts. Investors, politicians and citizens the world over were nervously awaiting public statements from European governments for official comment on the sex tape, which was leaked on the Internet.

The kinky acts were apparently filmed after the latest European Union summit, where Merkel and Sarkozy had previously promised to "fix everything by next Wednesday."

Instead of concentrating on solving the debt crisis, providing liquidity to European organizations and redirecting social policy, it was revealed to the La Rochelle Times, the leaders instead preferred to fornicate wildly in front of the camera.

"They probably just thought it was more fun that way," said an anonymous French source from Bureau 293 of the Quai d'Orsay. "Obviously this footage should not have been released."

The couple, sometimes referred to casually as "Merkozy," has spent countless hours together trying to hammer out a solution to the Eurozone debt crisis. The leaked sex tape could not come at a worse time for the French leader, who has recently once again taken a back seat to cancer in the popularity ratings, after having ordered France to surrender to the obvious.


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