Julian Assange will receive conjugal visits at Ecuadorian embassy on condition of sex partners' pressing charges afterwards

Alex Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM

According to sources close to the British government, Julian Assange, the Swedish founder of Wikileaks who is expected to remain holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy in London, will be able to receive conjugal visits to keep him busy during the coming years of reclusion. All of his sexual partners, be they men or women, will be required to file official rape and sexual assault charges as a condition of entry and consent, the sources reported to the La Rochelle Times.

"Given the current state of things, we could really use some more juicy tidbits in order to deliver the goods on Assange," said London embassy spokesman Roger That. "These first two Swedish broads tried their best, but it wasn't enough. We need to parade some other fresh meat in front of him while he's bored out of his mind in the embassy. It will be consensual, of course, until it isn't."

The United States hopes to use the new testimonial proof against Assange in order to extradite him to Washington, where he can be tried for leaking state secrets.