Republicans choose Guantanamo for 2008 Presidential Convention
La Lune de la presse internationale
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA
In a press conference Thursday afternoon, GOP spokesman Hal Atosis announced the decision handed down by senior Republican party members, including the Leader himself. "It has been decided that the 2008 convention will be held at Guantanamo Bay, in order to show our support for the War on Terror, as well as accomodate any Republican delegates who might also be serving time concurrently."
Indeed, the decision has been described as "brilliant" and "visionary" by cable news pundits such as Bill O'Reilly. The decision to use the Guantanamo facility "provides a boost to the Republicans strong anti-terror stance, and will provide lodging for all the incarcerated Republican lawmakers who are in federal detention facilities," said Republican activist Stew Pidasse. "We thought this might be an ideal situation, as the speakers could address both delegates and inmates at the same time."
However, the Guantanamo facility has recently come under fire from those who would like the terrorists to win against the United States. Some Democrats and members of the American Civil Liberties Union (ALCU) have denounced the facilities, saying that there is no reason terror suspects cannot be dealt with in the American judicial system. Moreover, they claim, the Leader has purposely created the Guantanamo facility in order to operate outside US jurisdiction, thus allowing torture, forced confessions, military tribunals and executions without proper oversight.
"Rubbish," said Pidasse. "These guys are terrorists, and you're telling me we have to use the same standard of justice as any American is supposed to have? Don't you realize these guys are dangerous terrorists? They are lucky they are even getting such good treatment to begin with. And our 2008 Guantanamo Convention will enlighten all these pro-Islamic factions, like the ACLU and the Democrats, who continue to cheer the terrorists on."
Frontrunners for the 2008 Republican nomination include John McCain (R-AZ), a Vietnam war veteran who was held in a Vietnamese prison camp for five years. He has recently announced his support for escalation of the Iraq conflict, and supports a wider effort on the two fronts in Eurasia. Others include former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, who was widely commended for overseeing the demolition of the World Trade Center, but has been plagued by sex scandals involving his personal relationships. Both are expected to annouce a continuing Three Year Plan that will mirror that of the current Leader.