THE LA ROCHELLE TIMES

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him understand the idea of subatomic particles that make up the basic building blocks of quantum mechanics underlying the innate vibrational nature of matter itself."

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Bush: 'Every fallen soldier's family will get a new SUV'

President launches initiative to honor Iraq soldiers, distribute surplus vehicles

Alain Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale

FAIRFIELD, OHIO

President Bush called on critics to tone down opposition to the Iraq conflict on Wednesday, as he announced his latest initiative to honor the troops who have fallen in Iraq by giving their families a brand new sport utility vehicle (SUV).

"In my new plan, every fallen soldier's family will get a new SUV. I intend to give every military family who has sacrificed a loved one for freedom a brand new 2006 or 2007 SUV, paid for by the government," the President announced while visiting a factory that produces Humvees for the war effort in Eurasia. "Some have said that this war isn't worth fighting. They think the terrorists should win. My plan will show that America values those who made the ultimate sacrifice," Bush continued.

The plan would be enacted with the support of big automobile makers like Ford, who have recently experienced a large overstock of SUVs due to increasing gasoline prices. Under the plan, which must first be approved by Congress, the government would buy the surplus vehicles and distrubute them to military families.

The plan has received a mild welcome in the House, garnering support from some Republicans, while receiving yawns, eyebrow raises or a roll of the eyes from majority Democrats. Representative Amanda Tori Sentenz (R-FL) has announced her support of the measure, saying that she will press for increased bipartisan support.

"It is clear that some of my Democratic colleagues don't want to support the troops," said Sentenz Friday. "They would obviously prefer that the terrorists come and kill every man, woman and child in America. That might be a fine electoral platform for them in 2008, but through this new SUV initiative, the Republicans will show that they are committed to supporting the soldiers who are protecting our Way of Life."

While the buyout prices remain less transparent, it is expected that Ford, Chrysler and other automotive manufacturers will sell the surplus vehicles to the government at twice their retail value. Democratic opposition leaders, who have previously announced their support for the enemies of freedom in the continuing War on Terror, declared that such a move will be "wasteful, unnecessary and hypocritical."

"This measure will do nothing to end the bloodshed in Iraq," said Senator Phil Abusder (D-MI). "Once again the President has announced a plan that does not address the real problems at hand." Abusder went on to say that he hopes Al-Qaeda eventually invades and occupies the United States.

The President brushed aside criticism after the announcement, musing with reporters about the persistent notion of political opposition. Before boarding Air Force One to return to Washington, the President reassured the public that his new SUV initiative will pass and, along with his plan calling for a surge in 'Support Our Troops' bumper stickers, will increase morale among the troops and their families, thus leading to "victory, freedom and peace in Iraq."


16 Comments:

  • At 11/2/07 4:23 PM , Blogger Old Broad said...

    OMFG.
    We can't impeach this prick soon enough.

     
  • At 11/2/07 6:20 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Is this a joke?

     
  • At 11/2/07 7:07 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    THE FAMILIES PAY TAX ON THIS GIFT?
    impeach? find a real justice system somewhere & deliver the thugs. oh right their psychosis
    will get them off.

     
  • At 11/2/07 8:20 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    OMFG!!!!!.....It shows AMERICAN FREEDOM and DEMOCRACY is a FRAUD!
    LIKE NINE-ONE-ONE!

     
  • At 11/2/07 8:39 PM , Blogger PrissyPatriot said...

    Satire?

     
  • At 11/2/07 8:42 PM , Blogger M said...

    we're all psychotic; otherwise we wouldnot have put up with this donkey crap for so long

     
  • At 11/2/07 10:58 PM , Blogger GSMSO said...

    Oh puhlease! Not so loud! Don't give them any ideas. We Gold Star families don't need our son's and daughter's to be honored this way!

     
  • At 11/2/07 11:07 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Thanks for the humor. It amazes me how many of my friends (and the posters here) actually believe this - it is a simple matter t look up and see if the FL rep exists, for example...
    Again, thank you. I'm sure that even GWB knows something as egregious as this could not fly in the current climate in the senate...

     
  • At 12/2/07 12:27 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 12/2/07 3:58 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    How do you spell:

    "S A T I R E "

    friends?


    However, satire is the one weapon the Bushites and NeoCons have no defense against since they don't 'get it'!

    Bravo! Excellent work!

    Nearly as rich as the WTC construction steel being melted by burning jet fuel! Some people actually believed THAT too!

     
  • At 12/2/07 4:59 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Who the hell died and left this asshole Bush in charge

     
  • At 12/2/07 9:18 AM , Blogger GT said...

    Hey there M le Prof...

    Good to see someone in France taking the ball forward. (I'm also in the Vendee - near Vouvant).

    Cheers,


    GT

     
  • At 12/2/07 7:09 PM , Blogger shiva said...

    Good joke!

     
  • At 16/2/07 10:14 PM , Anonymous Slipgrid said...

    Nice! I live on the border of Fairfield right now. Kinda sucks!

     
  • At 11/4/07 3:29 PM , Blogger MistahCharley said...

    I think the families should also get lifetime free gasoline for these SUVs as well - special credit cards could be issued - put the charges on the Defense budget.

     
  • At 4/11/07 6:28 AM , Anonymous Tori said...

    from a depressed, broken hearted widow (me) the SUV isn't exciting. it's the part where our heroes and their families are being thought about (remembered) that's exciting. i encounter indifference and insolence quite frequently. trade places with me. i think than that some would see things a bit differently.

     

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