Study: Coolest presidents used their initials

Alain Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale

ATLANTA, GEORGIA

An independent, bipartisan, lesbian and transexual (IBLT) committee published a study Thursday that indicates America's coolest presidents used only their initials. In the report, the group showed that top contenders, such as JFK, LBJ and FDR, beat out other, less popular presidents who relied on their full names.

"We think this is a monumental contribution to America's historical legacy," said IBLT committee spokeswoman Jess Ticulate. "These findings will set an historical precedent, showing that in the future, presidents who want to be cool will have to use only their initials."

The committee looked at popularity ratings for several different administrations, dating back to World War I. It found that presidents who did not make their names "hip," such as Warren G. Harding, Harry Truman, or Richard Nixon, enjoyed substantially less popularity among American voters. Those with the highest popularity, including FDR and JFK, shortened their names to make them "totally cool." The study may influence the 2008 presidential race, although current Democratic candidates such as BO are already showing improving poll numbers. The study also confirmed that using initials is more important than the issues addressed by former leaders.

Previous IBLT findings include:
Hamilton chosen as sexiest treasurer ever