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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

GM accidentally lays off last employee

Manager stunned to find own signature on pink slip

Amanda Laffatt
La Lune de la presse internationale


General Motors, once the bastion of automotive engineering and construction, officially laid off its last and only employee Tuesday. Executive Oversight Manager Mike Carl Stahl received a pink slip early Wednesday, but when he opened it he was surprised to find that he had accidentally laid himself off the previous day. Mr. Stahl was the only employee listed on GM's official payroll, therefore making the company employee-less, sources tell the La Rochelle Times.

"I don't know what I'm going do," explained Stahl when asked for comment. "I really didn't see this coming. How could I have known? I mean, I know the economy's bad and all, but I never would have thought, you know, me."

After introducing a revolutionary car prototype in 2008, GM has struggled to adapt to market changes. The beginning of the recession in 2007 hit the company hard. Some employees became demoralized by the realization that they may have contributed to the ultimate destruction of the earth's biosphere through the manufacture of individually controlled motorized pleasure units. The tens of millions of these vehicles may have forever changed society and the environment through the increased burning of fossil fuels, contributing to increased levels of carbon in the Earth's atmosphere.*

Calls to GM offices for comment were unanswered Wednesday.

*This statement has not been approved by select media outlets.


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