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Thursday, March 8, 2007

Meteorologist really looking forward to next hurricane season

Alain Terrieur
La Lune de la presse internationale


Local Atlanta-area meteorologist Sonny Hayes has recently expressed enthusiasm for the upcoming 2007 hurricane season, sources at Channel 13 Action News reported to the La Rochelle Times. The weatherman's colleagues and friends said they weren't surprised to learn of Hayes' excitement about the upcoming low pressure centers that will soon start forming new tropical depressions over the Atlantic Ocean.

"He practically lives for hurricane season," said investigative journalist and colleague Anna Recksicke. "During the winter months he just mopes around, sort of half-heartedly announcing the forecast. But as soon as those storms start blowing in from the south he really perks up a whole lot."

Hayes was in good spirits throughout 2005, when hurricanes blew through Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas, killing thousands and destroying entire cities, including New Orleans. "He really had a lot to talk about back then. He'd get multiple cut-away segments on practically every newscast," Recksicke explained. Hayes investigative meteorological reporting later helped the CIA determine Cuba's responsibility in deploying weather of mass destruction, and he was honored for his patriotism and bravery at an historic speech given by President Bush, during which the Leader announced the new doctrine that hurricanes were the enemies of freedom. Lately his office commentary has led his co-workers to believe the weatherman thinks about little other than forthcoming tropical depressions.

With the beginning of the official 2007 hurricane season in June, colleagues and friends expect Hayes to regain his typical upbeat character. "I'm sure when those new supercells come tearing through the Caribbean, he'll back on his game," said anchorman Dick Tate. "And that's understandable. He doesn't get a lot of airtime during the off-season."

Wendy Hayes, the weatherman's wife of twenty years, said she regularly experiences her husband's typical withdrawal symptoms after an arduous hurricane season. "Around about Christmas, he starts to get depressed, especially if it's been an active year. There's no more excitement around the weather office, and the forecasts aren't very interesting. I try to cheer him up but there's really nothing doing until the next storm season, when he can get back on television and report on the hypothetical catastrophic consequences. It was really tough for us after the fall of 2005. He sort of went into a tropical depression of his own. I guess if I was optimistic I'd say he'll have plenty to do in the coming years, especially if you believe in all that global warming stuff. He's really looking forward to this summer."


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